We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
he told me I talked like a deaf person
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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