yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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