So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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