More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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