bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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