So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
