and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
