They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
