Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
