Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Randomize
