Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
He better not be in your backpack
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Randomize
