nut hugger
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
