what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize