No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Randomize
