I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
