cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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