I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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