Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
We have so much sex to catch up on
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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