You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
i've created a new STD.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize