he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
