OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
