"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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