I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
