So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
