On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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