just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
You were trust falling into bushes
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
