You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I have demons in me.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
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