Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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