I'm really into asian looking animals
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
