Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Can i not drive my cunt home
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
