Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
