oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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