Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize