I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Randomize
