quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Randomize
