No, drunk sperm still make babies.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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