Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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