I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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