If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
