She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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