if i died would you start the facebook group?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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