After last night, I could never be a politician.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
