I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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