never play flip cup with pint glasses
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
