wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize