they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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