i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
