just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
