Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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