Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
