I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I love having hate sex.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
