how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
