good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
