And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
