Everything about him screamed your future.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Your penis caused this!
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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