She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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