She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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