Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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