He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
