bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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