you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
