In the future we'll all be gay
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
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