it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
