Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
you win again, gameday.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
