Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
