The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I checked into jail on foursquare
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
