Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize