..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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