haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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