He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
