No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Randomize
