I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Randomize
