just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I just had sex on a roof
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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