this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
