I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
